A preview of the book “Finding Tina”

A snippet of the first chapter of my upcoming eBook, Finding Tina.


Another intoxicating Monday night of delight watching the bartender lean over the bar pouring drinks, listening to us with feigned interest.  She’s only there to make money.

Her fishnets have slipped down ever so slightly into her combat boots from working all night on her feet.

Wiggling hips slowly up in time with the song on the old juke, Tina pulls the tender weave up with her fingertips, slightly tearing it from hard-working nails.  A soft brown tendril escapes, curled slightly from being tucked behind her right lobe.  Lips curl into the smallest secret of smiles.

She’s blushing hotly, wondering who gifted her.  Even under the low glow of the amber- colored lights, her cheeks are stained the most pleasurable shade of pink.

No one seems to notice it but me.

I barely stare holes into her over the rim of my glass.  I barely smile.

The wallflower dancing on the edge of blossoming, bursting out of her shell; no war paint, no fashion, a natural beauty.  It’s almost like she dresses down on purpose.

But the fishnets…those, are new.

Oh, oh.  Yeah, I noticed.

I gifted them.



Tick tock, you cock block, slow down.

I want this night to last forever, want to relish my wild imaginations of her thighs straining against snug mesh leggings.

I love when it feels as if present time is drawling more slowly than Tina’s thick Southern dialect.  The amber liquid pours thickly lazy as molasses from the bottle.  Voices hush to watch her pour.

Her Venus bedhead tresses are haloed under the dim bar lighting.  The laughter of her quiet smile tinkles softly suspended in the air as beautiful white-blue notes, drifting like cigar smoke, casting a spell over my senses.

Maybe it’s just the booze talking.

But nights like tonight, I’m losing my marbles with desire.  I know I’m hooked on any highs of life I get my fat fingers around.

My cupid heart forges hammered dents in my chest wall and my eyes adore her seemingly bend time just for me as I stroke under the bar counter, unseen.  I go through bar napkins like mad here once I start.

I hate this bar.  Stinks full of vermin.  I ain’t talkin’ rats.

Glance around.  Enjoy the show.

We’re all getting the eyeful watching Tina bend over the bar.  She’s a true peacock.  A beautiful shade of brown, quiet, understated, lacking the brilliant plumes, but yet we see how beautiful she is on the inside

Her soul shines like a hot candle flame, so purely tainted with goodness that we all burst into flames to get to her.

I have to admit, she’s intrigued me this past year, enough to madness.

She is my high.

I can’t come without her in my mind. She speaks in my head on replay, my muse.

Some days I long to rip her apart just to tape her quiet.

I love her. 

I crave how I can hardly breathe when I’m near her, I hurt when she pulls my drink. Curse my own thirst for her when I am consumed past the point, glorify my vile retching in the alley.

I hate her.

I fight the urge to shove my hot engine so deeply up her tailpipe when I tail her home.  Ram her over, and over again- until her little foreign steel crumpled ass squirts fluids, shudders, dies.

But I don’t give in.  I drive past, carefully, casually.

I’m waiting for the right momentto devour my angel until she’s bones, love her until I bury her.

Given the chance, I might.

Thoughts like that for me are dangerously delicious ones.  How I’d do it.  When, where.


at 3:09 am, Tina’s life changes forever.

Tina Heartly’s life has always been under someone else’s thumb.   A passionate woman, Tina is naturally submissive with soft boundaries.   She longs for love and acceptance while her existence fades to grey shadows of being controlled at home.

But women like her are easy marks.  All it takes is the right ruler.

At the fateful time of 3:09am, Tina is abducted by a deeply disturbed stalker whose goal is to break and reshape her into his darkest fantasy, and ultimately traps her in an alternate life of taboo sex, dominance, crooked law enforcement, and more.

Out of that night arose the Phoenix, a facet of Tina’s personality that emerges when the thinker stops and the grey veil drops.   Phoenix’s job is to make sure they both survive at any cost.

Although Tina cannot bear being touched, the Phoenix inside of her harbors intense sexual desires.   Two mystery birthday gifts- a book of lucid dreaming and a deceptively simple glass necklace- unlock the potential to reclaim her sexuality, let go of her inhibitions, face her demons and offer her a chance to love again, safely and without fear.

In her erotic dreams, anything Phoenix wants, she gets.

And anything goes…

Until the stalker returns, hell-bent on quenching the Firebird’s spirit and snuffing her life.

“Finding Tina” by C.L. Bolin——–released soon as eBook

FINDING TINA” by C.L. Bolin  will be released soon as eBook on Amazon.com for sale- exclusively written, illustrated, and edited by the author.  IT IS A VERY DARK EROTICA.   All reviews and critiques are welcome AND encouraged.    Currently the book is in its final stages of editing and polish.  The eBook intends to hit the Kindle shelves by December 1, 2012.

Please feel free to blog and share.  Whether you love it or hate it.

A dark, erotic journey of addiction and abuse


Finding Tina” runs much deeper than the usual erotica.  It began as a Recovery Writing 101 therapy tool for the author.  Every character in the book is battling some type of addiction or abusive behaviors.

It is a nightmare journey of darkness, rage, erotic thoughts, fantasy, and worst fears- written by a survivor of abuse.  Some may find many parts disturbing and raw, or too intense.

Well, it’s not the usual story.