For a little while, posts will be random. My apologies to those who check in regularly.
As I was writing a section of Recovery Writing 101, old memories awoke that I have suppressed and internalized for three years.
Acknowledging the trauma was a gigantic step for me; writing helped unlock the secrets I could not remember.
Now I am practicing what I preach, which is intensive support as I sort out memories to make sense of it. I have decisions to make and options to explore, and writing on my novels when I am not being triggered.. but for now, it is accurate to say that I am in active flashbacks and triggers, which are very strong and true, and honestly terrifying.
The first step is the hardest; acknowledging the trauma. But with acknowledgment comes the acceptance that it was real. We don’t have to accept the nature of the trauma, we don’t have to forgive those who caused it, but we do have to make peace within ourselves that it was real, we were there, and it happened, and that we survived.