A twinkle crept across his face as he held the burgundy filigree in hand. Perhaps a trick of the dim light. I could have sworn they were tears of happiness. He muttered softly that I was the first relationship to reciprocate on the one Almighty day of Love. I was his first Valentine gift(er), ever.
Needless to say, I was shocked but at the same time, I understood. This person is exactly like me – emanating peace, love and happiness as a giver, but never receives. And what is interesting is that we are both in recovery from abuse.
It’s sad that givers attract users, abusive personalities and empty spirits. We givers are always hungry for what we do not get in return, so we sustain ourselves on the satisfaction of the little things in life, until we find a giver nearly identical to ourselves.
And then?? Oh Holy Mary Mother. It’s bliss, baby. When givers fall in love, it’s magnetic, inspiring, and the stuff dreams are made of.
If you’re a giver, then you get what I’m saying. We love offering a piece of ourselves just for a smile, or a thank you. It’s the little things that get us out of bed in the morning.
People in recovery (like me) nourish ourselves with the simplest notions that will love us back the most with the least amount of collateral damage.
I could talk about givers all day long, but today this post is more meant for people that aren’t givers. They’re not bad seeds. No one is ever born evil, or stingy, or angry, or selfish – but somewhere along the way, they got hurt.
Brick, mortar, scrape
up uP UP
forms a nearly impenetrable wall to mask the pain that a giver can’t climb over, reason with or dissolve with giving and loving. And sometimes the more givers try the tougher that wall gets, for the wall is safety, protecting their vulnerability as if they were ribs lovingly encasing a heart. Only the mason- the master builder of that wall- can tear it down or carve a vulnerable niche of openness.
Today is one of the best days (besides Christmas) to be vulnerable, if only for a moment. Vulnerable doesn’t always equal harm. Yes, there is risk involved. You might not get what you give. But you might just get a glimpse of how it feels to be a giver. There are so many hungry souls out there and we have so much love to give. Giving is one of those little gestures that helps heal us from the inside out.
The best places to start are in the simplest places with low risk, and the best giving is the free kind.
~ Give a moment of vulnerability to a nursing home – sit with an elderly person whose heart is tired and hungry for acknowledgement. You may hear that same ol’ story over and over, but the warm peaceful feeling inside will long outlast the momentary irritations.
~ Volunteer at a soup kitchen for a day and talk with those less fortunate – sit with them, share a meal, a story and a smile. Make a friend outside of your comfort zone. You don’t need to offer money or possessions to connect with people. The most true-blue friends are found in the strangest places, and many of those people have lost everything by something beyond their control and have been exposed to being treated inhumanely.
~ Visit your animal shelter and love love love those dogs and cats on Death Row – there’s reciprocal love in every tender purr and lick n’ drool – and it may be the last time they’ll get to love on anyone. So give them all you’ve got, for they’re not there to steal your heart but to overflow it with unconditional love.
Just for one day, open your heart. Today is a great time to try.
Happy Love Day, everyone!